im crying for this tragedy

I really don't know what and where to begin. it was 27/10/2010 and it was the worst and the saddest day i've ever taken! first of all, there was a guy out there who promised me to watch movie together, he planned we will go to theatre on saturday, okay i feel so surprised at that time, so no need a long time i surely say yes! but, 3 days after, i saw his tweet which is like he wanted to meet his friends on the same day with he wanted to bring me watching. my feeling was sdfghjkl, what the hell is he thinking about? didn't he remember about our plan? and my emotion was uncontrol, so i just tweeted everything that could make him realized about our plan, yea i admitted that at that night i tweeted a rant word, and unfortunately he read 'em. so he became so angry with me and he texted me, which's say my thought just like a baby! i was crying crying a looooot, there was nobody in my house so i could do everything what i wanted to do, screamed, cried, threw some of my stuffs, like an insane people. i couldn't control how to express my feelings, i was sad, angry, regret! like i really need a time maching so i could repeat time and make up all things better. i felt like a stupid idiot little girl. and then i prayed to God, asked God why this tragedy could happened to me. After that, i replied his message, i said SORRY SORRY SORRY. but you know what he didn't reply back even once. ok i got his message again eventually but it's after my 6th message, all the contents of the message is SORRY SORRY REALLY SORRY, he just replied "yauda slow" fu!!! but at least i knew the answer even by a short sentence like that. i couldnt enjoy my sleep well, still thinking about him. and when i came to my class the next morning, they were shouting, "hey what happened to those eyes? seems so poor!" and i answered "haha nothing happened, i have done my homeworks until midnight!" hahahahahaha i want to laugh. ALWAYS SUCCESS FOR HIDING MY PAIN BEHIND A SWEET SMILE :)

things i hate the most

hello fellas. i want to write down my story of being a 9th grade student. it's really fuck. i'm serious. i'm really really tired, i have some courses, it held everyday. arrived at home about 18.00 pm everyday, and at night i must do my fuckin' assignment. i think, for students who will face a national examination, those things like that is supposed to be omitted. it just bother my schedule, when i should study for UN, at the same time i should do my homeworks. i'm surely you could understand what i feel. exhausting daily activities everyday!!!!

let my finger say

wish you a happy birthday

Hello pals today is 17/10/10 like i said yesterday , today is my brother's sweet 17th hahaha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED BROTHER!!!

i have a few wish list for my brother:

• have a great one!!
• don't smoke all the time -_-
• have a long lasting relationship with your new GF haha
• don't act like a little kid anymore. its so embrassing me wk
• ya pokonya wish you all the best, God bless youuuuuu! <33

oh ya, and this is a birthday present from me to my brother. what does it shape look like? haha its like a case for ciggarettes, actually i totally hate about his new bad habbit. but a ban like that doesn't valid for a SEVEENTEEN boy like him anymore. yes he's already right now. haha here are the picture

let me get one

here are a few sneakers that i found on web haha they stole my heart.

which one do you prefer? i prefer the right one

good combines with the stripes stocking

always be my best

glittering your sneakers makes the world says WOW

im sure they aren't heavy hahaha

not really important

Halllo pals, what a pretty and tiring saturday! i just want to post about what i've done since morning until what i'm doing right now haha i have nothing to do now but i want to post sumthing on my blog but but but i still don't have any interesting idea to be posted. okay, this morning at 10 am i took my math course in BP, yeah usual, everything went well. at least i could understand a lil bit about Statistika that i couldn't understand at all before. then after i finished BP, as what i've planned, i went to Botani Square. i went to botani by public transportation and ALONE. haha actually that was not the first time i went to botani alone, instead i've watched movie in XXI alone. what a brave girl i am! haha back to main topic, ya i went there because i've to buy sumthing called 'birthday present' for my brother's sweet seventeen hahaha. ya tomorrow 17/10/10 is my brother's birthday!! he will turn 17 tomorrow haha unbelievable, feels like just yesterday i took a bath together with him in one bathtub, haha its too long it was when we were toddlers -_- finally i found a suit gift and exactly what i'm looking for. what it is? it is still secret haha and to be revealed tomorrow! i do mind to post what gift my brother get from me after i give to him tomorrow haha i will post to my blog :) and after that, i went to my home directly and quickly because i felt sumthing wrong all over my body and i was extreamly dizzy at that noon, on my way to home, a.k.a in angkot, i almost fell asleep! i dont know i was really really tired and it was also accompanied by strong hot weather. uh. and after arrived home, i found there was my aunt in my home! she wants to stay in my home for one night, really good idea hehe then i got my lunch because of starving to the maxxx. and not long after, i went to my bedroom in 2nd floor, lying down on my comfort bed, and then heading to the dreamland.... i slept for almost 4 hours! i missed pray Dzuhur and pray Ashar. forgive me God :( it was magrib when i woke up. and after that i went to my computer's table and posted my whole story on my blog! (ya right now) haha okay enough of all, too lazy too type haha bye--

by the way, i want those dresses so fuckin' much :(

with PIPI :p

Me and pipi in recess time at school. We took some pictures while boys were praying Jum'at hehe we freakin' bored! here are our pictures..... i have edited it but it's not too good. ABSTRACT.

cuties stocking

What do you think about stocking? i always feel comfortable and and suitable when wearing it. for me, fashion items are not about 'show too much skin' right? haha stocking makes me sexyyy because i look slimmerrrrr haha, i have two stocking in my case, one is black stocking and another one is motive stocking, my mom who bought it. and i often wear it because i love it freakin' much hohooooo. so i think stocking is a must have fashion items! pictures below are so amazinggg

the red one is gorgeous and i also fall in love with black-white dress

haha cute, dont cry sweety

fuckin niteeeeeeee

Last nite, i got a simple message from B, he just texted me with a word "Langen", like usual when he wanted start the conversation first. i thought like "why the hell do you text me again? i'm almost success forget you sh*thead" but i couldn't deny that deep inside my heart there was kind of 'happy' feeling, boosted my mood. and i smiled. but i didn't reply his message directly, i was about enjoying watching timeline on twitter at that moment hehe so i decided to wait for a minute to reply his text. nanggung gituloh haha, but suddenly, my heart was like dropped by a heavy stone when i saw his tweet, "i miss my @....... (his fucking new girlfriend)" OH MAAAAN! couldn't i feel a little bit pleased at that nite? i was tired from study hard, and the only my mood booster was that simple text from B! but i didnt relpy his message because of that, enough heartache, too hurt to be axplained now. i frustated, really. but however, i have to learn to let it go, i have to face the fact that HE ALREADY HAS A GIRLFRIEND. he will start a new life, a new love with her. not me. at the least, me, who always be a looser. may God bless you guys, everlasting!! :'(

all i wanna say..........

i wish my room was this cute

Mr. B

its almost been 2 years honey, you rocks my life!! lately, i often have chats with him. he always text me by sms, almost everyday. he asks me what am i doing now, or something unimportant, but.. i just enjoy it. but now, i just realized that there is someone else he is waiting for, i dont know who, but i know exactly there is 2 person! who the hell are they? i just feel a little jealous. am i including of that 2 person? if not, count me in babe! one more thing, im just wondering why does he give me such an empty hope? im entirely sure he knows that i still love him, so whats your purpose? you want to make me feel so high and then knock me down to the ground? HEARTACHE. successfully. i dont know how to express my feeling anymore, but i can't stay mad at him for anything. i dont plan to hate him, im still hoping that one day you'll be with me, and we become a perfect couple.

"goodbye, my almost lover

goodbye, my hopeless dream

im trying not to think about you

why can't you just let me be?

goodbye, my luckless romance

my back is turned on you

shouldn've known you'd bring me heartache

almost lover always do"

fine frenzy - almost lover

i do feel love for shortpants

everytime when i see a girl wearing shortpants, its just like, envy so much. they look good when wearing it. successfully match with their shirt, or whatever the shortpants combines with i just fall in love. too bad im not that girl who is pretty wearing it, its not about i have no courage to wear shortpants and go out with these outfit on me, its all about i have low-confident hahaha it always look weird on me and i also awkward to move -_- its like my thigh is too big or because.. i have dark skin or its not suitable on me actually. oh yeah finally i find the problem!! i just adore from far away.......

im just wondering

When the time comes through, the time when i can forget all the memorible moments i spent with you, when i can stand here, alone, with more strenght, more confident. but suddenly, unexpected, you walked by, smiled at me, we shook hands, asked each other about our life recently, and then these feelings, appeared to the surface when it supposed to be buried in the deepest of my heart. shit. all i wanna shout is shit!! why so easy?? why could we meet again? :( im still loving you, but im just hiding it from you and pretending like there is someone else fills up my heart..... you have a place in me, and you always do.

for you B, for you whom 2 years NEVER leave from mind.

some things to share.

hallo all howaryaaaa? did i miss something when offline? hahahaha okay i just want to post about my random's mind that surely running out in my head for these days.

lets flashback, i met my ex boyfriend at botani days ago, he is moreeeee handsome haha but it was like he didnt see me or perhaps he saw me but he didnt want to take a look at my face. i dont know whatev i dont hv any special feeling anymore.

and second, i just remember bout another one, why couldnt we be friend anymore? you probably feel ashame bout what you ve done to me but i just let you know im not mad at you. not!

and third, yeah im bored of being all alone. many people said when single we can make some relations without status with many boys. it just for a perfect girl, not an ugly one like meeeeeee, im perfectly imperfect. yeah i am.

and fourth, i feel a little disappointed..... um maybe more about my midtest result! imagine out, ive never got 68 for my bahasa test in my life, and it happened in this term. sucks. and about my social test? oh its not to be asked anymore, 74 for my score. think it, my social test (that at that time i didnt study hard) is better than my bahasa score! unbelievable but yaaa thats the fact. but i can be a little bit proud of my science score, its 88 :) its very cool, ive never expected before hahaha. ok, lets we talk bout my math, hey math! howarya?? -____- actually its not bad, 82 for my test. but it still cant help me to reach the KKM (wht in english? -_-) yeeaaaaah it makes me feel saaaaaaaad and it means i must study hard for the remedial later, freakin' lazy :( ya just that i know, for others are still waiting, it will be revealed.

fifth, its a happy news!! hahahaahahahaha i have many new friends in my eden class, finally i can join with them all, they re all amazing! who are going to be.......... lets we talk one by one, ka muti, she is the cutest and the friendliest of all, she is a little chinese (maybe) haha she is the first person who greets me and talks to me. second one, ka alpian, he is chinese haha and handsome haha he is cool, ah im sudden speechless when i think bout him (......) third one, ka anelis! she is the most beautiful i think hehe i love to see her face, i envy her. the fourth and fifth one are goin to be ka dira and ka hanna! oh goshhhhh they can speak english well and fluently, the accent, like a western one. i love it! hope someday my english will be like them! they looks like close each other, and lately i know they do study in the same school, Regina Pacis. its not too far from my school. and one more thing, the most suprising me so much, they are all highschool student! ok fix im the only white-blue student -____-

ok enough for this all, i dont know what to be posted anymoreeeeeeeeeee. thanks for reading~